There are days when you walk alongside your friend, who is
facing deep pain and unspeakably hard things, and you feel this powerless
sorrow. You hear stories of profound spiritual warfare, stories straight from a
movie script, and you are afraid. And the stories begin to reverberate through
your little world, bouncing around and picking up speed and force, and the
texts fly and the conversations become these fearful wonderings. Now what?
And you gather together with other friends and you start to
put words to your
How could God let this
happen? Where is He?
If this is what
happens to people who draw near to God, then why do it? Why draw closer to God
if it’s only going to hurt more?
You feel the enemy leering, grinning in the background.
Yes. What if you go
all in for God and He makes you suffer too? And what if I am more powerful than
you ever dreamed?
My friend who is suffering deeply, my friend knows Jesus
like no one else I know. And I know what she would tell me.
It’s all worth it when
you know Him.
Yes, when you draw in, when you really truly begin to seek
God, you find Him. He fills you and you start to change the world around you.
You become this light. And you do have an enemy who wants that light out. He’ll
do anything to stop you.
The question is a valid one. Why draw near if the cost is so
great?
Maybe it’s easier to just follow God a little bit. Maybe you don’t quite want to give Him everything, because after all, He’s not
quite safe. Not quite predictable. And at the end of it all, maybe He’s not
quite as good and loving as He says.
And maybe you do feel safe. Maybe you don’t feel pain. But
you don’t feel joy, either. Not really. Now the enemy has you right where he
wants you.
You haven’t risked everything, so you don’t know what it’s
like when Jesus takes it all and gives you Himself in return. You believe these
lies that you are OK because the truth, it just isn’t quite safe.
Or maybe you do risk it all. Maybe He takes it all and turns
it to ash, right there at your feet, all your dreams decimated.
If this is what it
means to follow You, I’ll stick with my dreams, thanks.
But what are you missing if you stick with your dreams? What
if that perfect thing you hold to is only a shadow of the gift He longs to
give? What if pain is the doorway to knowing Him for real, the only way to make
us let go of our hold on the shadowlands?
When you start to get in His word and really take Him at His
word, when you become desperate enough, you give it all up.
And then you see Jesus.
The one who thirsts for a cup of water is given a waterfall.
The one who longs for a candle is given the sun.
The risk is worth it.
The truth is worth it.
It’s possible that you may have to suffer more than you can
imagine. But it’s possible that life could become deeper, richer, more
meaningful than you ever knew it could. It’s possible you have no idea what True
Love is until you see it in your deepest pain.
And just maybe you and your sisters huddle together around
your Bibles whispering your broken prayers. And then those whispers become
louder and louder, they become a weeping and a lamenting, a praising and a
claiming of all the things you know.
You offer up your hearts and you take up these flaming
swords and you start to strap on this armor. You begin to feel strong. You meet
again and you become bold. You become warriors. Promises begin to fly like arrows.
Something happens when you are struck by truth. You are
pierced. And in your wounds you find either healing or destruction.
I think of my friend shining brighter than ever before. I
think of the prayers she has ignited, the hearts that have been gripped by her
story. I think of all the crazy messy beauty of her life and how the God she
loves is blazing out of all those cracks, flooding over the rim of her soul and
spilling out to touch us all. I think of
my sister-warriors and the drawing together of our hearts and prayers. I think
of victory, and I think of the depths of his love that is the truth He longs
for us to know, and I see how we are coming to know it, bit by bit.
He is worth it.
