Filled

From John 4

Steel yourself. Take your heavy jar and clutch it to you, a pretense of purpose, a flimsy shield against the stares. March out into the heat of day, and pretend not to notice the silence or the smirks. Pretend you are not desperately lonely, longing for anyone to see past the name they have created for you. No, the name you created for yourself. Put on your sexy haughty smile and do not care. Pretend not to understand what men think when they look at you and why the women turn away. Why they are afraid.

Swallow the dismay that rises to your throat when you see a Man at the well. Waiting. What is He waiting for? A Man. He is a Jew. Should you leave? Your gut tells you to leave but no, you need water. Lower your head and say nothing. He will not dare speak to you, a Samaritan and a woman.

You almost drop the jar when, in the kindest voice, He asks you for a drink. You look up and He is gazing at you with a look you have not seen before. It is a look that carries no judgment and no demand. “Why do You even ask me this?” you blurt, and He smiles.

In that moment your life changes, when this Man sees you. He doesn’t just look. He sees. Absurd, but you find yourself talking as you have talked with no one else, and He listens. You find within yourself a well of need surging up unbidden, and He receives the outpouring. His answers are hope. Here is a Man, looking at you like you matter, giving instead of taking, making you real. His gaze clothes you. And you see that He asked you for a drink so you would know you really had nothing to offer Him, nothing you could do for Him. He is the one who quenches thirst.

He tells you who you really are. He tells you all you ever did. And He does so simply, without blame. His words of you carry the weight of your wounds. You are so lonely. You have been rejected. You long for love. He offers you what you had not even let yourself long for. Peace. Rest. Acceptance.

This is what He does. He transforms you into who you already are, only you could never find yourself without Him. He looks past what the world has told you and He tells you why, and He tells you it is all right. You can put down your jar. He is the water. His water is life, and it is within you. You can raise your head without shame. And now, when men come to you, you can lead them to hope. You can show them what you have found. Who you have found. You can watch their transformation. You can be free.