The way to become real (for Abby)

Dear Abby,

You were the one who convinced me.

That year before you left us, when you started having dates with God.



You had always walked with God in a way that made me envious. I wanted what you had. You made it seem so . . . fun.


But then you started your dates with God. And you weren't just this beautiful, godly girl anymore.


You were radiant.

You were so in love.

Every time I saw you I ached to have your joy.

You couldn't stop talking about Him. Everything you did was all about Him. And somehow, you became more you. Like the Velveteen Rabbit. Remember the story?

The more you were loved, the more real you became.

That's when I knew I was missing something. And you kept telling me about it, kept asking if I'd had my date with God yet. And I kept saying soon, soon, I'm so busy, blah, blah, and now I know that all those excuses are nothing more than idol-worship, my self-inflated sense that I am too important for God (Ann Voskamp).

And how can we miss this? That being with Him is the One Thing we were made for? That it is what makes us truly alive? That it teaches us who we are?

And that without it we shrivel. We are shadows of our real selves.

All it takes is stillness. Rest. It sounds so simple. Why is it so hard?

I can remember the laughter in your eyes when you told me about one date, how you set aside the morning for Him and had to force yourself to go that day  . . . so much to do. But you went, and you hiked up into the mountains where you ended up getting stuck in a prickly spot that scratched you and made you mad, and then your journal fell into the creek and got soaked. And you thought about turning around and just going home.

But you stayed. You stilled. You let His word feed you. And God came to you and you danced with Him and you returned more radiant than ever.

Well, Abs, I'm starting to get it. Abiding with Him doesn't just happen with ten-second prayers flung up in the whirlwind of a day that consumes me. I can't really know Him when I am only pretending to.

I have to want it more than anything.

I have to trust that if I put Him first, the rest will fall into place.

I have to push through the scratchy places.

Thanks for teaching me with your life, Abby. I miss you every day. Happy birthday.

Day 10 of Abide: 31 Days of Resting in Him

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